It’s been three or four years since the addiction to livejournal, checking it damn near minute by minute, unable to leave it. Unable to stop myself from posting every single thought down into the open for everyone to read and comment on. It was like I had to let people know everything, obligated to explain every emoticon and status.

Facebook felt much the same way, but the obligation wasn’t there. That was drowned in pointless games and stupidity.

One thing I do miss from my livejournal days is the productivity. I would pound out ficlet after ficlet, and sometimes up to ten pictures a day. There were the ten minute fics, the five hundred word fics, and then the massive ones and book chapters. Oh and the comics, lots of comics.

Back then I produced so much because it was how I derived my self-esteem. I don’t need that anymore, but I do still need to produce and practice. Just because I don’t need that outside validation doesn’t mean that it doesn’t feel good to make pretty things.

So here is a more private solution. I can spend an hour a day writing a short fic or working on something that has nothing to do with what I ‘should’ be doing.

I will spend at least an hour a day doing this, keeping the muse alive. I used to abuse and prod and praise the muse all the damn time. He’s had a good holiday, now it’s time to get back to it.

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